Managing the Fear of Letting Go

Sometimes we need to acknowledge the pain we have experienced.

Sometimes we need to give ourselves permission to grieve.

But never should we stay in the place of darkness that accompanies pain and grief.

I say this with deep compassion. I know grief. I know pain. I know my past and I know the scars I have.

But I also know that unless I make the decision to cross over the sea of fear that presses against me I will never be able to step into a life that remembers the past but does not bring it with me.

So, my dear friends, I implore you. Do not stay in the darkness. Do not linger there. Yes, acknowledge your pain; let your grieving arise but then give it to Jesus for in him is the only relief. In him is the truth of who you are. In him are the answers you seek.

It’s time to move on.


Screenshot 2017-05-08 15.57.49
Thanks to WordPorn for the thoughts…


Say goodbye to that which has held you bound and imprisoned you and then, when you’ve crossed over, do as Miriam did and dance and worship before God, the one who sets us free.

Love and be loved,



Trusting God When We’re in Limbo: The Space In Between

Humans love order and control. We crave it, actually. And it’s not such a bad thing to have order and control in our lives.

God clearly indicates that order matters. The account of how the earth was made, the order in which he created the world and everything in it; even the grand plan to save us – there is order within all of these things so we can be confident that wanting order, structure and control are normal and good.

Order creates a structure for us to live well, achieve goals and plan for the future. Control helps us to set aside other desires to have something more important and also helps us to be disciplined.

But what happens when we lose control? When our structure slips away and we’re left with nothing but trusting God?

Continue reading “Trusting God When We’re in Limbo: The Space In Between”

Sit. Be. Love. Lessons Learned from Our Kids.

Christmas is often a time where we reflect on the life we have and the life we hope to have moving into the next year. Within the context of my own mental health, I’ve been thinking about the legacy I am leaving my children, and how my mental illness might be shaping them as they step into adulthood. There are days when it can become difficult to see that I am leaving them anything positive at all.

But here’s the thing about being a parent with mental illness: our kids live in the real world of mental illness. They’re going to learn about life much faster and more deeply than their peers who do not. And yes, there are downsides to this but I want to encourage you (and myself) to look at the other side of the coin.

Being a child of a parent with mental illness provides our kids with the compassion and insight needed to care for others who may need support and despite the reality of bad days my two boys have often reassured me that my struggles have helped them have more patience with others, stand alongside their friends when times are tough and give themselves some breathing space when they find things getting on top of them.

They’ve also told me that my drive to be well and my insatiable need to educate myself in order to stay well has given them the courage to do the same and work toward the lifelong journey of overall health and wellness.

On top of this, they’ve also said that the way in which my husband and I treat each other and treat them as sons have taught them what it means to be men of substance.  To be able to leave them with a legacy that focuses on building others up, living a healthy life and loving one another is all I have ever hoped to give them.

What an incredible privilege to know that these are some of the things our boys have learned through our struggles.

It’s so humbling to realise that what matters most to them is not the tangible and regular, but the deep and meaningful. They’ve not cared about when the washing got put away or how long the dishes have been in the sink. They’ve not noticed the dust or worried about the clutter. They’ve watched two people support each other through some very difficult times, loving, forgiving, learning, giving, supporting.

Put the dishes down. Leave the bills. Let the washing sit in the basket a little longer.

Sit with your beloved kids. Let them hold you when you’re not doing well and let them see you at your best when you are well too.

Because we only get one life. And the dishes won’t be crying at your funeral. 🙂

Blessings for you today and always,

~ Miriam

Christmas Time Triggers: Being Responsive Instead of Reactive

Christmas. A wonderful time of celebration for Christians and many others who desire to connect with loved ones and support one another as we head into a new year. But sometimes the simple process of ‘getting together’ can be stressful at best and seriously debilitating at worst.

Let’s start at the beginning…

The reality is that we (and I mean all of us) are capable of being influenced by negative triggers… and we are all equally capable of being the person who sends out the trigger. No one is immune to this as we all attempt to try and be helpful, caring, interested, supportive and loving. We just get it a bit messed up sometimes.

Continue reading “Christmas Time Triggers: Being Responsive Instead of Reactive”

Why Praising God is About Choice, Not Emotion

Do you struggle to connect with God if you don’t feel like it?

There’s nothing wrong with being emotionally connected with God. It’s important. But equally important is connecting with God regardless of feelings.

It’s about choosing to connect regardless of how we might feel at the time.

Continue reading “Why Praising God is About Choice, Not Emotion”

31 Ways to Show Love in The Lead Up to Christmas

It’s just 33 days until Christmas and I have a love-hate relationship with the holiday: on the one hand, I feel excited, especially as this year my husband and I are going to be grandparents in a few days. (EEEEK!)

But on the other hand, I feel anxious, worried about being able to be happy and feel connected with my loved ones despite being part of a very loving and caring family. And I am not alone. The holiday season has a habit of conjuring up complex emotions and the more people I speak with, the more I find that many have this paradoxical rollercoaster at holiday time.

Continue reading “31 Ways to Show Love in The Lead Up to Christmas”

3  Simple Steps to Regulate Your Emotions, Stay in Control and Enjoy the Christmas Season

Christmas is a wonderful time for many people. We reconnect with loved ones, share stories and make the most of the time we have together, strengthening relationships and building hope for a better year to come.

But it’s not like this for everyone. Some people struggle with holiday seasons like Christmas for a variety of reasons and the focus for this post is about those of us who have mental illness and are struggling to regulate their emotions during the holidays.

Continue reading “3  Simple Steps to Regulate Your Emotions, Stay in Control and Enjoy the Christmas Season”

Mental Health Strategies to Keep You Well at Christmas

Christmas is not far off and it’s easy to get caught up in the swing of things and forget about looking after ourselves.

The holiday season can be particularly tough for people with mental health concerns and the stress of relationships at this time can have a significant impact on how well we manage the flow of family visits, food, holiday silliness and general wellbeing. Continue reading “Mental Health Strategies to Keep You Well at Christmas”